“Kids these days have way, way too much fun,” said Representative Mary Lou Dickerson, one of the bill’s sponsors. “We must put a stop to the out-of-control enjoyment of today’s babies, toddlers, children, and youth,” she explained, “what better way to do that than under the pretext of safety?”
“I’m really proud of what we have been able to achieve with this bill,” said Dickerson. “We face a lot of basically impossible challenges in the legislature, like fighting global warming and balancing the budget, so it’s nice to head home with this win against childhood merriment—I mean unsafe toys.”
(Yes we know they're fake, but we like to think the author just did a good job reading between the lines.)
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